BURNING MAN 2017!! The Best Kind of Crazy
Howdy folks! How ya going? Oh me oh my, I have been struggling to write this article because there is/was just so much to go through!! So here’s the deal Ima break it up time line style and still try to keep things short and sweet. Lets go Burning man Breakdown. Are you ready?
First things first you have to get your golden ticket and these range from $1200 – $200 and they are all exactly the same, crazy right but Burning man is supposed to represent a sort of Utopian society so all are welcome and with that principle in mind they offer low income tickets, mid range tickets and advanced sales to even the playing field a bit, tickets are limited and its sells out mad quick. We were in NYC and still Uhminng and ahh’ing about taking on the Burn but when we scored the last min OMG tickets shit got real, real quick. To be in the draw for these tickets you have to register months before and watch the clock to login right at the time they go on sale. Remember to check you time zone we were a good 6 hours early the first time forgetting that little gem! So now we have tickets then you get “The Burning Man Manual”
Did you open that link? Well if you didn’t you’re a wiser than I. We read through it and immediately pee’s our panties. It was a way scarier and a waaaaaaayyy more elaborate of a set up than we originally anticipated. Evaporate your own grey water?? WTF!! At that point we were very aware we were going to need some serious help. That help came in the form a little Irish man named Gary Long.
So we started researching all the different camps and started emailing our butts off asking for sanctuary from the scorching heat and dust storms, as the OMG sale tickets are so last min everyone was full, so we kept hitting a giant wall of NO’s… Faaarrqq what are we gonna do??.. Then along came our mate Gary. Agh Gary God love ya, cause I know me and my fellow Ice-T Bandits were having a hard time doing so. This tricky little Irish man targets first time burners and entices them with what looks like a great set up, R.V, Air-con, food daily, bikes and best of all SHOWERS! You had me at R.V Gary. Now his price was pretty ridiculous but at that point we were desperate and running out of options. We thought Gary was our saviour an angel descended from the heavens to make our Burning Man experience amazing, easy and comfortable… we know better now.
After I had to buy all the ingredients for about 2000 cups of Ice- T out my own pocket (which was never re-imbursed mind) I was suss, super suss, but we were in now so what ya gonna do right? We hauled our cases of groceries and other necessary gadgets onto the “cool bus” a poorly re-purposed yellow school bus. Dinner was the only meal supposed to be provided each day so we needed a ton of shit, and every time we left walmart we needed to go back in and get something else. Gary made us buy ice and along our bumpy, long ass, hot ass road he also forced us and the rest of the crew to draw out the remainder of our owing cash as payment to some of his imaginary helpers. It’s funny now but really this guy is the ultimate hustler. How you gonna stuff 30 people on a school bus to the dessert that you keep saying might not make it and has no A.C?? Jesus man. But you know what boys and girls we made it 16hrs later exhausted and sweaty AF. We were at our new home… Camp was not set up and lucky Lex and I could get our proper winge on quick so we got our promised room in the R.V which was the best bed in the house others were not so lucky. You learn a lot about yourself in a situation this extreme, this little sign in the desert never reigned so true (See sign below). It is harsh out there and if you don’t look after yourself there are some serious side affects, though “The Playa Provides” and it always does. You realise that you can deal with baby wipe showers a lot longer than you thought, dusty food and drinks are not gonna kill you and most of all the show must go on. HA HA HA! Those magical selling point showers (remember those?) did not run at all for the first few days, then were limited to about an hour each day for the whole camp. Power was scarce, we had little food, little shade from the heat and had to set up alot of camp ourselves.. Like what am I paying you thousands of dollars for Brah? AAAAAAND he DID NOT HAVE OUR BIKES!!. Now the other stuff I could deal with showers we found out very quickly were almost pointless anyways, the way the dust is out there. However the playa is a massive venue, we are talking about 4,000 acres, and roughly 60 miles of roads laid not to mention all the other bits and pieces that are not laid. No Uber, no bus just your feet and your bike! You need that bike Trust. I was pissed. All of that being said I don’t have any ill feeling’s toward old mate Gary, he got us there and he got us home I’m sure he made a pretty penny from this camp and his others, We all still had an amazing time and the people that we were camped with had a lot to do with that! Love you guys!! It was just super dodgy.
The Main Event...
Now that I’ve had my sook let’s get to the good bits and I am going to straight jack the words of my friend Pascal Danielson cheers mate, a few of those epic pics were courtesy of this legend too. So..
“Imagine civilization as we know it is over. And all 70,000 survivors came out to the desert to celebrate with the biggest party the human species has ever seen. That’s what Burning Man feels like. The rules and social norms you’ve lived with all your life don’t apply in this city. Black Rock City. The most amazing city on the planet that exists for only one week each year and then disappears without trace.This festival has an ethos of radical creativity and self expression. In costumes, activities, classes, behavior and design, I’ve never seen so much diversity of thought and activity. It was endlessly entertaining and thought-provoking.There is something truly child-like in nature about Burning Man: in the way you make friends, play, and explore. The normal social structure and boundaries – the limitations of status and identity – are stripped away.“What is Burning Man?”. Burning Man is what 70,000 people bring to it, and they bring a lot. It’s too many things and too many experiences to describe with a simple answer. What is New York? What is Los Angeles? A sound bite won’t be very helpful. But I can say that Burning Man is the most amazing city that exists for one week each year. And I can say that I understand why so many people travel from all over the world and plan all year long for it.I have learned that champions aren’t just born; champions can be made when they embrace and commit to life-changing positive habits.I have learned that there is more power in a good strong hug than in a thousand meaningful words.I have learned to be ready for anything – and be happy for who I am. That’s what life’s all about.
See he’s like a poet, honestly the experience is indescribable to me, and totally unique to each individual that partakes. It is exactly what you make it. Yes, is it a massive 24/7 party but, that’s not all it is. The free creative space allows artists and all individuals from across the globe to express their most radical visions and desires in an environment free from judgement and restriction. You are part of the art, you are part of the movement, part of the community and part of the spirit of burning man. Meditation, massage, music, motivational speeches from TED Talks global pioneers and leaders in their fields, nudity, madness and the most serene calm as you look into the nothingness on the horizon at sunrise. You can play, you can fight, you dance when ever you feel like it, you can just DO YOU without consequence. All I can say is GO!!! Just GO!! The rest will figure itself out. It is absolute insanity controlled chaos with an unspoken respect for the rules of the space and most importantly the 10 principles of Burning Man. https://burningman.org/culture/philosophical-center/10-principles/
I for one will definitely be going back and I have no regrets. (Just don’t camp with Gary….seriously find another way).
YES!!! I finally did it! and only 2 months later after all the hype has died lol. But The Man never dies, he only burns and is re-born each year like a giant wooden phoenix. Now that it’s done let me leave you with some burner tunes for your ear holes and of course FIREWORKS!!! 🙂 https://soundcloud.com/robot-heart/bedouin-robot-heart-10-year-aniversary-burning-man-2017